So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
