Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
