Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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