I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
birth control should be required to get into college
this will be a night to untag.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
