yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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