yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
