How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Randomize
