So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
