I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
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There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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