i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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