I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
