have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize
