Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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