found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
