She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
