he shaved USA in his pubs
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
