There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
