He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
