His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
