i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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