Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
