Please, let me fuck your mom
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
