It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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