don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Is it because I queefed?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
