That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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