Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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