If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
