...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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