i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
