five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
