yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
