How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
how can u be prego again
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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