Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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