their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
