i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
