i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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