Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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