You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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