4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
