Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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