A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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