Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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