Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
