I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
