there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize