I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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