as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
