I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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