grandma shit on top of the toilet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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