YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
