Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
