I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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