he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
