MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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