He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize