I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
