going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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