She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
