Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize