@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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